StarClan's Psychic Powers: A Warriors Trollfic
by Maplestrike
Summary: Starshimmer and Spottypelt are two StarClan warriors, infamous for their life-changing (life-destroying) prophecies. Read about all of the different cats whose lives have been ruined by this notorious double act!
1. Kingkit's Predictable Rise to Power

**A while ago, I wrote a Trollfic called Day Vs Night. A guest suggested I should write a sequel about other kits whose lives had been ruined by the catastrophic prophecies of Starshimmer and Spottypelt. This story will be a compilation of mini Trollfics. Enjoy!**

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Starshimmer rubbed her paws together with glee.

"Did you hear that, Spottypelt? We've got a whole story dedicated to our live-saving prophecies!"

Spottypelt sat down and curled her tail over her paws.

"Shall we start with the legendary leader, Kingstar?" asked Spottypelt. "After all, the clans probably wouldn't be here if it hadn't been for our amazing deduction and prophecy-writing skills!" Starshimmer rolled her eyes.

"Understatement of the century! The clans wouldn't have been created if it weren't for us!" she exclaimed excitedly. "That's as good a story as any!"

"Then let us begin…" whispered Spottypelt, whipping out her torch and holding it below her furry chin. Starshimmer batted the torch away.

"It's not a horror story, Spottypelt!"

...

The story of Kingstar is a most interesting one, and it begins with the clan leader's mate giving birth to a dazzlingly handsome son, who was named Kingkit. He had no siblings, and was already destined for greatness due to his blinding beauty and leadership heritage. But everything went pear-shaped when Starshimmer and Spottypelt made their haunting prophecy.

 _"The ruler destined for greatness will have a hard life and he will have to choose the darkness or the light but he is destined for greatness whichever path he chooses."_

Phew, that one's a bit of a mouthful.

This prophecy was received by Swallowherb, TsunamiClan medicine cat.

"But who could the prophecy be meant for?" she called after Spottypelt, who was rushing back to StarClan to catch the mouse she had been stalking.

Swallowherb sat in the medicine den for a while, wondering whether she should say something to Nachostar, Kingkit's father and current leader of TsunamiClan. After carefully considering all of the consequences for about five minutes, she decided not to say anything, but to tell Kingkit when the time was right, which would lead to Kingkit hating her forever. Well, it was inevitable, wasn't it?

So, Kingkit was apprenticed to Smallcloud, a small and insignificant looking tom that looked as though he was going to be a rubbish mentor. Of course, he turned out to be the best, but he died pretty soon after Kingpaw became a warrior.

Meanwhile, Swallowherb had, surprisingly, kept the prophecy a complete secret throughout Kingpaw's apprenticeship. No creepy staring when no-one else was looking, no pointed messages that implied the presence of a great leader. I know, she really is defying convention, isn't she?

Soon the time came for Kingpaw to become a warrior (early, of course). He had heroically saved Nachostar from being killed by GloomyClan in an epic battle that Kingpaw played front and centre in.

As all other Warriors Fanfiction writers, Spottypelt and Starshimmer copy and pasted the warrior ceremony from the Warriors Wikia page.

Nachostar: I, (Nachostar), leader of (TsunamiClan), call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. (He/she) has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend (him/her) to you as a warrior in (his/her) turn.

Nachostar: (Kingpaw), do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your life?

ApprKingpaw: I do.

Nachostar: Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. (Kingpaw), from this moment you will be known as (new warrior name) Kingdom. StarClan honors your (virtues)Handsomeness and royalness, and we welcome you as a full warrior of Tsunami(Clan).

They haven't edited it very well, have they?

So, the newly named Kingdom went on to become a great warrior, and mentored a young she-cat named Whitepaw.

(Why are they always white? They always seem to be white.)

Well anyways, everything was going hunky-dory until Kingdom met the leader of TornadoClan, Darknessstar.

Now, as the prophecy had foretold, Kingdom had experienced a very hard life up to this point. His mother was killed by another clan, his father never had time for him, his best friend was killed by a poisoned mouse, etc. This had (predictably) made his heart bitter, and he doubted that StarClan wanted him to have a good life.

So, when he met the leader of TornadoClan, Darknessstar, he was intrigued into the world of evil leaders. (Couldn't you tell by his name that Darknessstar was pretty evil?) In a big battle between TornadoClan and TsunamiClan, Kingdom realised that Darknessstar was, after all, an evil pig of a cat and that he would never find happiness if he followed him.

So, he picked the light, the prophecy was fulfilled, the clan deputy died in mysterious circumstances, Kingdom became deputy and found a predictable she-cat mate, Nachostar was killed in a dog/fox/badger attack, Kingdom became Kingstar, lived nine happy lives with his mate (who died after giving birth to two she-cats), one of the kits died, the other kit lived into adulthood before being killed by another clan, and finally Kingstar died after a long and not-so-happy lifetime.

"And that, my lovelies, is the story of the legendary leader Kingstar." Spottypelt sat back on her haunches.

"You know, when you think about it, Kingstar wasn't really that legendary as a leader," observed Starshimmer thoughtfully."

No!? What gave you that idea, Starshimmer?

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 **Sooo... what do you think of this first chapter? Please leave a review with your thoughts! I'm open to any suggestions for future chapters, i.e a tom who was destined never to have a mate, a she-cat who will never have kits, etc..**

 **Thanks for reading and I'll be updating regularly (hopefully!)**

 **Maplestrike :)**


	2. Mousetail's Tale

**Thanks go to guest reviewer** 42 4ever **for the suggestion inspiring this chapter!**

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"Gosh, there are so many stories for us to tell," said Starshimmer, grooming her tail thoughtfully. "What about the tale of Mousetail?"

"Hmm…" said Spottypelt. "You'll have to tell this one. I can't remember what happened to her!"

...

Mousekit was a playful young she-cat whose mother was very protective over. Every night, she would tell her kit that she wasn't allowed to go out into the clearing without her, and that she was never allowed to go to the fresh-kill pile.

"You're allergic to certain types of prey," she told her daughter. But that was not entirely true.

A disturbing and most strange prophecy had been delivered to Mousekit's mother just before her daughter was born.

 _"Your kit will never be able to taste the flavours of prey. An evil curse was put upon her, and from the day she is born, she will only taste the flesh of mouse, lest she lose her life."_

Now, Mousekit's mother thought that this was rather a stupid prophecy and was all for ignoring it all together. But she had never yet heard of an instance where ignoring the advice of StarClan had improved any cat's life, so she stuck with it and never allowed her precious daughter to eat any other type of prey. As for calling her Mousekit –

Starshimmer paused in her narration.  
"Why did she call her daughter Mousekit? It seems a little bit harsh to mock her by naming her after the only prey she can eat, doesn't it?" Starshimmer looked over at Spottypelt expectantly. The spotty she-cat was trying to pick her nose with one foreclaw.

"OY!" yelled Starshimmer. Jumping, Spottypelt whipped her claw out of her nose.

"What?" she asked guiltily. "There was something itchy up there!"

"LISTEN TO THE STORY!" shouted Starshimmer angrily. Spottypelt rolled her eyes but didn't say anything.

Anyway, Mousekit always allowed her mother to fetch fresh-kill for her, as she believed that she truly was allergic to all other types of prey. Her mother had told her that she would die if she so much as tried a morsel of any other type of prey, and she believed her.

When Mousepaw learned how to hunt, she never learned how to catch any other type of prey except mice, even though she excelled in catching those. She told her mentor that her allergies were so severe that even touching a piece of prey could harm her.

This fundamental gap in Mousepaw's warrior training meant that when the time came for her to become a warrior, her mentor went to Vegetablestar, GloomyClan leader, to have a word. However, he probably wasn't the best person to go to, seems as Vegetablestar was the clan's only vegetarian cat, he couldn't really see the problem as he had never learned to hunt either. So, Mousepaw became Mousetail, and she still hadn't ever touched another piece of prey.

Soon Mousetail found a mate in Voleclaw, whose favourite prey was ironically, vole.

(What is the problem with naming kits after their favourite prey these days?)

Now, Voleclaw was completely unconvinced that Mousetail had allergies to other types of prey. This was partly as he considered vole to be the best tasting prey in all the forest, and that it was basically impossible to be allergic to prey in the forest. So, one day, Voleclaw went to great lengths to prove to Mousetail that she didn't have a prey allergy.

He caught a vole and a mouse, and he then spent a long time skinning the mouse and the vole, then eating the vole meat himself and stuffing the mouse meat into the vole skin. He then took the mouse-vole to Mousetail, who was in the nursery expecting their first kit litter.

"Here you are, my love, a fresh-caught mouse for you. I found it by the riverbed, so it might taste slightly different. It's good to have a little bit of change, right?"

Mousetail bit into the mouse-vole and chewed slowly.  
"It does taste nice," she said. "Nicer than any other mouse I've had, and remember, I've had an awful lot of mice." Mousetail finished off the whole mouse-vole, and licked her lips appreciatively.

"That was the best mouse I've ever eaten! You should hunt by the riverbed more often, Voleclaw!"

"Woah, woah ,woah, hang on just a StarClan-damn minute!" Spottypelt removed her claw from up her nose again and stared at Starshimmer.

"Mousetail was supposed to die! The prophecy foretold that she would die if she ate anything but mouse!"

Starshimmer shrugged. "I'm not the one who makes the prophecies, mate."

"BUT YOU DID MAKE THE PROPHECY!1!1!" screamed Spottypelt.

"Oh yeah…" Starshimmer mumbled to herself.

"Well, that's all for today's story, readers," Spottypelt hissed through gritted teeth, trying to keep herself from screaming at Starshimmer again. "Until next time!"

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 **What are your thoughts on this chapter? Feel free to leave a review with your thoughts! Still open to any suggestions for chapters!**

 **Keep reading,**

 **Maplestrike XD**


	3. Rusty's Real Story

"Do you remember, long ago, when ThunderClan, ShadowClan, RiverClan and WindClan ruled the forest?" asked Starshimmer.

"It's a bit of a coincidence how similar those old clan names sound to LightningClan, GloomyClan, TsunamiClan and TornadoClan…" murmured Spottypelt thoughtfully. "But I do remember those times, times when the legendary Firestar ruled the forest!"

"But the readers don't really know what happened, do they?" gasped Starshimmer, who was getting all excited. "After we finished summarising the story, the six Erin Hunters took our story and edited it to the extreme!" Spottypelt cried out in pain.

"Oh my StarClan, you've just reminded me! She replaced me with some swotty she-cat called Spottedleaf! I can't believe they could have been so horrible!"

Spottypelt promptly burst into tears, whilst Starshimmer looked on disapprovingly.

"Do you not remember that she cut me out of the whole story completely, and said that stupid Bluefur made all _MY_ prophecies? She even wrote that Bluefur became leader when I DID!1!"

Starshimmer burst into tears as well.

"WILL YOU TWO KEEP IT DOWN!?" yelled Bluestar –oh sorry, Blue _fur_ \- from the other side of StarClan. "I THINK SOME CAT ON THE FAR SIDE OF THE DARK FOREST DIDN'T QUITE HEAR YOU!"

Starshimmer clamped her jaws shut and took a deep breath.

"Well, ladies and gentlecats of Fanfiction, I think it's about time you learned what really happened when Rusty joined ThunderClan."

A long, long, long time ago, ThunderClan, ShadowClan, WindClan and RiverClan ruled the forest. Long before Fanfiction was invented. Long before the internet was invented. Long before even electricity was invented. Anyways, long ago there lived a kittypet called Rusty. He was born to a beautiful snowy-white she-cat called Snowbell. Rusty had two siblings, a sister called Queenie and a brother called Prince.

"Wait wait wait WAIT!" interrupted Spottypelt. "I'm pretty sure that by this point, the readers won't understand why you didn't mention Rusty's sister _Princess_ , who we all know due to her totally wussy behaviour in the six-Erin-Hunter-written story! I'm sure _the readers_ would benefit from an explanation? You know, for the sake of the readers? Nobody else?"

Starshimmer rolled her eyes.  
"Okay then, for those _READERS_ out there who don't know what I'm talking about, just hold your badgers. All will be revealed…" At this point, Starshimmer whipped out her trusty torch again and hovered it mysteriously under her chin.

Rusty's father was a good-for-nothing wildcat who never saw his own kits, not even once. Surprisingly enough, Rusty was the only bright ginger kit born from a white mother and among his monochrome brother and sister. What the six Erin Hunters might not have told you, however, is that Rusty did not have a flame-coloured pelt, but was really more the colour of a rusty fire-extinguisher.

"What in StarClan's name is a fire-entigisher?" asked Spottypelt. "It sounds like deathberries, only worse!"

Starshimmer threw away her torch and grabbed her microphone.  
"Well, for those kitties out there who aren't familiar with this particular item, it has the same effect as rain does on a fire – it puts it out."

But anyway, Rusty grew up happily in a kittypet den in the centre of twolegplace. When he, Prince and Queenie were two moons old, they were separated and Rusty went to live in a den overlooking a gloomy pine forest.

"BUT WAIT!" Spottypelt felt it was time to interrupt again. "Everybody knows that Rusty lived right next to the _ThunderClan_ border!"

"WILL YOU JUST STOP ASKING QUESTIONS AND LISTEN TO THE £$*&%&$^ING STORY?!"

 _Anyway_ , Rusty spent all his days dreaming of venturing into the forest and feeling the fir needles under his paws. Every morning he would take up his resident spot by the window seat and stare longingly at the pine-martins bobbing around the branches, wishing he could join them.

But soon he got over that phase, and moved on to mooning over the pretty tortoiseshell that lived two doors down. And then he got over her when he spotted her itching her bum on a tree, and became the ultimate Belieber. Then he gave up on that one too when Bieber released Purpose, and only _then_ did he truly accept the life of a kittypet as his own.

"I think I have every right to interrupt right now," meowed Spottypelt. "THIS IS DEFINITELY WRONG!"

Starshimmer whipped out her _Warriors_ boxset and flicked to the first chapter of _Into The Wild_ , itching her head.

"Oh, yeah. Wait, didn't I already say? The story I'm telling is _The Life of a Kittypet –_ download now on your tablet! The truth is, Rusty was an illegitimate son of Bluestar – oh, sorry Bluefur – and Tigerclaw."

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?"

"It's true. Bluestar made up the story about Rusty in order to hide her disgusting secret. Rusty was never told who his real parents were."

Spottypelt looked like a cat who had just found the cream – or the juiciest gossip in StarClan. "I knew it! I knew it! I told Whitestorm so many times!"

Starshimmer rolled her eyes.

"Well, I think our readers have enough to think about for now. Until the next prophecy, goodbye!"

 **Sorry I haven't had time to write many of your suggestions - I'm getting slowly through them all, and this one has been in the pipeline for a while.**

 **Keep Reading, Warriors fans!**

 **Maplestrike :)**


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